There are too many men on dating sites

Online dating, and the meteoric rate in which it has risen in popularity and use, shows indisputably that it is not worthless. When you have a product, and that product fails, it doesn’t suddenly become the most widely used product in the world as a result.

However, on most dating-sites men outnumber women by at least 2:1, often more. Indeed the imbalance is large enough that most dating-sites deliberately and systematically lie about the number of active women they have on the site in order to entice men to sign up. Sometimes the lies are subtle, and sometimes not so subtle. The most extreme example might be Ashley Madison (a site marketed towards people who wanted to find people to cheat with, and as such NOT representative for all dating-sites; still they’re useful because their database leaked, and analysis has shown that while they had 20 million men who had at least once checked their messages, and 11 million men who had at least once used their chat-function, the corresponding number for women was about 1500 and 2500.

Online dating is not different from “real” dating when it comes to guys having to initiate: the average man has to send messages to women 99% of the time and normally only gets 3-5 messages from women first during his entire stay on the dating site.

Most women online simply do not message a man first. Even if they’re interested and spot an interesting profile, they might simply “wink” or repeatedly check out the profile and wait for the man to respond.

On typical online dating-platforms men send about 99% of the first messages. As applied to online dating this means women are flooded in low-quality messages, while men suffer through poor response-rates and thus are tempted into putting little effort into crafting the messages, which of course exacerbate the problem.

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